We love the work, it's the trauma that gets us...

Yesterday I tried to record a cute little promotional video for Curiouser & Curiouser: Dark Wonderland Tales to maybe drum up enough backers to get us to the bare minimum we need to produce Vol 1 and start the art on ALICE issue #2.

Instead, I made a video in which I sobbed, that I shared with only three people who would understand why my heart is breaking over this project. Not because it isn’t garnering a huge backing, I expected that from a new platform where we haven’t had a presence. No, my heart breaks for Curiouser because I made the mistake of putting all my dreams for a future as a source of collaborations and great connections into the one thing, I’m simply not sure anyone will understand, despite all the assurances I’ve received from the people who have read it already.

I don’t gamble, because I will never bet on the sure thing. It’s boring and predictable and life is too short. But as much risk as I’m willing to take with my safety and happiness, I don’t take those risks on behalf of others.

Today, I opened Bluesky, my current favorite social media platform, to a post from Anni Jyn, my guest artist in Curiouser & Curiouser, an incredible erotic horror artist in the United Kingdom. Her recognition of the value of our collaboration, the work itself, and my contribution to her life and the industry as a writer, started the tears again.

Sometimes the pain and the relief feel sort of the same.

And sometimes, silly, unimportant people like me still have something to say that’s worth hearing.

Here’s to the people who refuse to let me forget that I matter to someone, and that’s all I ever wanted. Thank you.

Anyway, back to work on this truly f*cked up novelette I assume I’ll be forced to self-publish and the start of ALICE, issue #3. No matter what the day holds in this capitalistic nightmare world, the work needs to be done, and we each have that one thing, no one can do but us. This is mine.

❤️ Liz